Very Spicy Beer Mustard

by Heather Do
Do you need your sinuses to be cleared? Try making mustard. While the mustard is whizzing away in the food processor, stick your nose over the hole in the lid and take a gentle whiff. (Spoiler Alert) Tears and regret will immediately commence, but once these visceral reactions fade, you’ll soon realize that your sinuses have vanished into thin air. Your faith in your nose’s ability to function and to function well will be restored. Or if you’re a member of the skittish and paranoid crew, then you might fear that your nasal vessels have just been physically assaulted.

1 cup yellow or brown mustard seeds
2/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1 12 oz. beer (stout or pale ale)
4 tbs honey
1 tbs salt
1 tsp freshly cracked black pepper
1/4 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp cardamom

1. Dump everything into a sealable jar. Mix.
2. Tightly seal mustard containing vessel.
3. Let sit for 1-2 days at room temperature.
4. Transfer mixture to a robo coupe or food processor. Process for 15 minutes. Occasionally scrap down the sides.
5. Put into a sealable jar. Stick it in the fridge. Enjoy.

Yield: 2 cups

Cutting the mustard,