Posts tagged ‘oatmeal’

January 12, 2015

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS – Submit to TOTEMEAL: The Baggage Issue!

Hello, friends! Oatmeal Magazine is welcoming submissions for its eighth issue, TOTEMEAL: The Baggage Issue!

totemeal call for submissions

The theme for this issue is baggage. We’re thinking of travel, migrational patterns, the things that we carry, heavy backpacks stuffed with pebbles from faraway places, dirty nights in hostels, uncomfortable train trips. We’re also thinking of childhood memories, secrets, things that your parents said when you were a child that came back to you in a dream, recipes from beloveds, arguments with your foes, the ever-lingering melancholy from the afternoon you went into the backyard and discovered your bike was stolen.

It’s time to finally finish unpacking those last few boxes under your desk and send us your lumpiest and most misshapen satchels heavy with darkness. Or whatever! We want it all, part and parcel, by February 28th. That’s a lot of time to unload! Until then, you’ll find us cleaning all the trash out of our bags with bated breath.

To learn more about things we like to read, visit our submissions page here. Or, click on over to some of our past issues for inspiration. We can’t wait to see what you cook up.

Spread the word!

Bon voyage,
Claire & Trisha
Oatmeal Magazine
Oatmeal Headquarters
Oakland, California

January 8, 2015

Come to Breakfast for Dinner #5: TOTEMEAL (Baggage) on Thursday, January 29th!

Happy brunch time to you, our dear sweet ‘n’ lows,

As you can tell from our uncharacteristically active internet presence, we are dang busy over here at Oatmeal Headquarters, so busy we almost forgot to add water to our overnight oats. But we remembered at last, waking up in the middle of the night in a frantic terror, with the truant thought practically running off our tongues–Breakfast for Dinner!


Yep! Our monthly reading series is back in full swing, and we’re kicking off the first B4D of 2015 with the theme of our upcoming issue: Totemeal (Baggage). This could mean anything: old writing, embarrassing writing, bucket lists, emotional outpourings. Bringing writing around the theme would be nice, but you could also bring anything and we will be endlessly grateful. We’ll have mac ‘n’ cheese, chocolate, and other comfort foods for you.

The reading begins promptly at 8 pm, eating to follow. There will be a little donation jar if you want to help out with the overhead costs. But no one will be turned away, so feel free to bring your friends and lovers! And those poems you have been secretly writing about them these past few years.

And so, without further ado, we invite you to:
Breakfast for Dinner #5: Totemeal! (Baggage)
Thursday, January 29 7:30 pm  – reading begins at 8 pm
Claire’s house in Berkeley (see FB for address)
BYOB / But we’ll provide the breakfast
RSVP on Facebook here.

Don’t forget to submit to TOTEMEAL!  Our submission deadline is February 28th,  Please review the guidelines for submission here.

And lastly,  we just received news of a SUPER exciting reading earlier this week — more details to come!

Over & Out,

Claire & Trisha

October 3, 2013

This fall, Hall & Oatesmeal will make your dreams come true. Submit by Oct. 27!

Friends and fellow dreamers!

We are writing to you, live from Daryl’s house, with great big news and the grandest “hello again!” we can muster. It has been a wild few months, from licking the Goatmeal harvest off of our fingers to trying to map out our next moves. And we are planning some big moves, people. Moves so ambitious and outside the bowl, if you will, that they will make you just toss off your hats and jitterbug with surprise.

For the past two glorious issues Claire has been steering HMS Oatmeal by herself while Trisha was across the pond. (She claims she was teaching English, but in reality she was lost to land pirates, who after finding only five dollars in her pocket, dropped her off in the Adrsspachs without a jacket and shoelaces.) We found her a few months later in the desert pressing oats into milk, with a slightly Slavic accent and newfound taste for Pilsners. At any rate, she’s back just in time for our sixth (sixth!) issue,

Hall & Oatesmeal: Making Your Dreams Come True!

hall & oatesmeal
Inspired by the oft-forgotten but enormously influential duo, Daryl Hall & Master Oatmeal (little-known fact: David Bowie attributes the magic of “Let’s Dance” to their revolutionary rhythms). The two met one auspicious autumn equinox in Jackson Hole in 1982 and recorded some sweet, sweet jams that were kept in air-tight jars deep in Daryl’s basement — until now! Thanks to the nosy archivists on staff, the recordings will be released and spread all over your ear-toast so soon. Perhaps at the release party.

Submit your dreams about dancing with John Oates, thoughts, memories, the early-80’s ballad that would have made you all kinds of famous (and still can!), a story about singing a mean “Maneater” at your cousin’s wedding (the one by Nelly Furtado is also amazing). If you’re hankering for guidance, see our submissions page, but we encourage you to let your dreams be your guide. Tell us everything! And also to listen to Hall & Oates all day every day. (It may be bad form for us to reveal our muse, but we will say that it rhymes with Ball & Moats.)

The release of this issue will also (really, we mean, yes, we really truly promise this time) coincide with our first print issue EVER! Because we, too, are hellbent and intent on making our paper dreams come true. Imagine how lovely an Oatmeal booklet will feel in your hands — the embodiment of sleepless nights in Oatmeal HQ and the gentle sacrifice of a few slender trees, all in the name of oatmeal. With the turn of every page, you’ll be able to hear the pine that fell onto the welcoming earth, closed its eyes, and murmured to itself, “Well yes, for this, it was worth it.” Thank you, future trees.

— But the money! Where does it all come from? — you may ask. Good question. We often ask ourselves that, too. In order to get our print publication out, we will be putting our project up on Kickstarter, with the goal of raising $500 toward the Oatmeal Fund. But let’s save that for another post. For now, keep writing.

No goodbyes,
The Hall & Oatesmeal Entourage

PS – Also sign up for OatMAIL!

May 7, 2013

Goatmeal deadline extended to May 18th!

Oh hello, friends!

Holy oats, the months! Where do they go. We know you’ve been staying up late in your work-closet, scribbling anguished nighttime poetry on post-it notes, watching meaty moths flap around your dimming lamp, and wondering, “WHERE, for the love of whole grains, is Master Oatmeal?” (And, if you’re anything like us, “WHY are these moths the size of small cats?”) Well, we’re so glad that you’ve learned how to summon him. Our favorite breakfast-advocating literary flaneur and captain brainstormer has returned at long last! You might be surprised to learn that Master Oats suffers some of the meanest seasonal allergies banjoon this side of the Rockies. This spring, he left Oatmeal HQ Farms (in the most robust bloom!) for three weeks to dip down to Peru and clear his sinuses in the sodium-chloride-laden hot springs of the high Cordillera Blanca. He likened the soothing marvels of the natural world to a “full-body Neti Pot.” 

But hooray, he’s back! And we are gearing up for a hearty, hearty Goatmeal harvest and the rowdiest celebration since 1999. The goats are antsy and yelling like one million humans, and they are just to the MOON with excitement for the fifth issue. Have you seen goats on the moon? It’s one of our favorite things. But first, we have news!

We are reopening the gates for Goatmeal: The Farm Issue submissions! These past few months have been all kinds of nutty, and as Master Oatmeal always says, the more oats, and of course the more pygmy goats, the merrier. Why not harvest a little late, if we can fill our cornucopias (and our cornucopias’ baby cornucopias) to the brim, right? If you’ve been weeping into your night oats since March because you missed your chance to contribute to the feast, you can still send us your favorite (or least favorite) goat doodles, oatmeal odes, or pie gourdcontest parables (or ANYTHING you’ve written, farm-related or not!) by Saturday, May 18th! But also, always feel free to send us things you’ve written!

The other little slice of news: we are going to have a release party! Somewhere, sometime. The date and location will remain a surprise. But not for long! Stay tuned! And keep your calendars vaguely open in late May and early June.

Well, friends, that’s all for now. We’re as excited to bundle up and release all of your wonderful pieces into the world as we are to garb our goats in summery Renaissance gowns. Contribute everything you’ve ever written to Goatmeal, and then come drink from our oatmeal stout fountain! 

Goatmeal or go home,
Your buddies at Oatmeal Farms

P.S. Sign up for OatMAIL! What else will we do with our doodles?