Return to Sender: Concerns About My Body Hair

(Emulation of June Jordan’s “Poem for The New York Times”)
by Jenna F
 

I think
I have decided
I wish it to be understood
that the Fairy Godmedia
should and shall
wax his
pussy
upper lip
and ass crack

I think
I have decided
I wish it to be understood
that the Fairy Godmedia
should and shalltweez
thread
shave
pluck
and otherwise irritate
his offending follicles
&
“sanitize” by means of suds & Gillette
the pits

I think
I have decided
I wish it to be understood
that the Fairy Godmedia
should and shall
tase off with a laser
sear off with cream bleach
burn off with Nair
that fur which grows upon
his body

I think
I have decided
I wish it to be understood
that the Fairy Godmedia
should not and shall not remain
oblivious to the fact
that the should be shall be

plucked shaved lased
of the world
are not appreciative of
his concern over
skin which
is not his
to bare

I think
I have decided
I wish it to be understoodbrow
that the Fairy Godmedia
shall
feel his body plucked clean when
stepping into salty sea because
stinging singe
red welts
burn
means a job done good

I think
I have decided
I wish it to be understood
that the Fairy Godmedia
shall painstakingly extract
hair both subtle & glaring
across every bristly
inch
of his body

because if he don’t know
and he don’t do it
and the burning self-doubt
is branded onto
someone else’s skin

that in itself
should be
a big clue
as to
the absurdity
of his dictating
any
action
whatsoever

 
Jenna F makes THE meanest pain perdu.