Archive for ‘ANNOUNCEMENT’

January 12, 2015

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS – Submit to TOTEMEAL: The Baggage Issue!

Hello, friends! Oatmeal Magazine is welcoming submissions for its eighth issue, TOTEMEAL: The Baggage Issue!

totemeal call for submissions

The theme for this issue is baggage. We’re thinking of travel, migrational patterns, the things that we carry, heavy backpacks stuffed with pebbles from faraway places, dirty nights in hostels, uncomfortable train trips. We’re also thinking of childhood memories, secrets, things that your parents said when you were a child that came back to you in a dream, recipes from beloveds, arguments with your foes, the ever-lingering melancholy from the afternoon you went into the backyard and discovered your bike was stolen.

It’s time to finally finish unpacking those last few boxes under your desk and send us your lumpiest and most misshapen satchels heavy with darkness. Or whatever! We want it all, part and parcel, by February 28th. That’s a lot of time to unload! Until then, you’ll find us cleaning all the trash out of our bags with bated breath.

To learn more about things we like to read, visit our submissions page here. Or, click on over to some of our past issues for inspiration. We can’t wait to see what you cook up.

Spread the word!

Bon voyage,
Claire & Trisha
Oatmeal Magazine
Oatmeal Headquarters
Oakland, California

July 17, 2012

And now a brief interlude…

We’d like to turn your attention to a campaign that our Berkeley friends have been working so diligently on this past year.

Michael Newton-McLaughlin, Tim Maloney, and Shahab Najafi are behind the project City of the River Within, a film that raises awareness about urbanization in the Vietnamese capital Hanoi. What started as a masters thesis project in the City Planning Department at Berkeley has turned into a full-blown feature length film.

As their website says,

The film bears witness to narratives of hope and conflict as graffiti artists, community residents, park-goers and activists labor to see a more vibrant, hospitable and equitable city. Their stories compel us to reflect not only on Vietnams’ self-determination and sustainability, but our own future in an increasingly urbanized world.

According to their current kickstarter campaign, they’ve already raised $1,275 of their $8,000 goal, which is their last push towards the final goal of $20,000 needed to complete postproduction. But this benchmark goal of $8,000 is drawing to a close on July 29, giving them less than 12 days to reach it.

We here at Oatmeal, with all humor and puns aside, think this is a project worthy of your attention. Plus, we think the whole kickstarter thing is ingeniously democratic and something that Master Oatmeal wholeheartedly approves. So take a look at the trailer, see what it’s about, and then makeakickstarteraccountsowecanaskyouforsomemoneylater.

Got that? OK.

City of the River Within from Tim Maloney on Vimeo.

To donate to the project, or learn more about City of the River Within here.

June 28, 2012

The time has come, folks, to rock the VOTEMEAL: The Political Issue!

Good evening, our fellow breakfast enthusiasts.

This is a public service announcement from your friends here at Oatmeal Headquarters. As you may know, we aim for democracy within these walls abristle with whims and ideas. But not all ships are run quite as tightly as that of Oatmeal Magazine, clipping along the frothy waves with the exuberance of one thousand giggling babies. No, there is a whole gamut of political structures and tangles out there in that wild, bustling world. And we want to make Oatmeal’s Issue #4 all about it! And thus we invite you to join us in Votemeal: The Political Issue. The submission deadline is one month away: Sunday, July 29th!

While we are giddy about this whole new flavor for the magazine, we are also always open to all things oatmealbowloutside of our theme. Especially in this case. George Orwell wrote, “it is invariably where I lacked a political purpose that I wrote lifeless books and was betrayed into purple passages, sentences without meaning, decorative adjectives and humbug generally.” Well, we kinda like humbug and decorative adjectives, but he also suggests that (purposeful) writing is inherently political! We make choices for each delicate little word, much like we select our leaders… voting is a way to express yourself, and Oatmeal is a space for voices to be heard! Submit your voice! Rock the votemeal! We will feed you in so many ways.

In a dawn humid with the mists of transition and debate, we at Oatmeal HQ felt our bellies contracting, our lips twitching, our palms perspiring. We had that undeniable urge to do something, as they say. So we concluded that the time had come — perhaps this comes as no surprise to some of you (true fans) out there — for Master Oatmeal to run for president. It is indeed a tremendous game-changer. We know what you’re thinking. “How can he possibly catch up with Obama and Romney with so little time to fundraise?” And for that brief cloud of anxiety, we apologize. But we will make up for lost time! That’s where you, most faithful oatmeal eaters, come in. Master Oatmeal, upon agreeing to run, insisted that we set up a Super PAC so that he could do some damage with supremely breakfasty fundraising (can anyone say “Grand Slam?”).

The Oatmeal Party has spoken. We endorse Master Oatmeal. And we hope that you will, too.

While traditional submissions will certainly serve as generous, gourmet endorsements (really! as always!), we are also looking for real money, if you have even the measliest jingle of pocket change to spare. (PayPal account coming in 3 days! Be sure to come back!) Don’t you want a “Rock the Votemeal” shirt, with Master Oatmeal’s face on it, and other amazing Oatmeal swag? We sure do. Don’t you want our next ongoing project, OatMAIL, to be totally fabulous? Well. We have news for you. These things will be wonderful. Because we love you all!

A word on OatMAIL: If you want to receive real-life, tactile letters from us with scraps of ideas, doodles, prints, and stamps… thank you. That is so incredibly flattering. We hope to receive mail from you, too! Here is a link to our OatMAIL sign-up. This has been bubbling in the Crockpot for far too long.

Forthcoming: Exciting news on our changin’ management! Master Oatmeal’s official poster image, quotes from his steamily tense debates, and all of his political views in a compact presidential candidate profile! We will have polls, we will have puns. Nourish his Super PAC, and you will win access to a beautiful magazine when it’s released and, if you so desire, a package of OatMAIL!

That was a lot of information. Go treat yourself to a snack! Then get back to writing.

Master Oatmeal’s approval ratings of you are through the ROOF,
The Oatmeal Clan

March 5, 2012

OM Cordially Invites You To…

The third e-zine issue release! The past two issues have been s’wonderful, yet a little too internety for our tastes. For our third release, CAMP OATMEAL! we will be hosting a camp oatmeal party at Analog Books, Tuesday, March 20 from 6-8pm. Be there, be square, be ready to share your best/worst camp stories! Make us laugh! Make us cry! Make us silently chuckle as we shake our heads in sheer amusement.

Since there’s no actual paper release, attendance costs nothing, but if you’d like to partake in some sweets/drinks please bring some change to throw in our way. Also, join us afterwards for a beautiful and brute-iful afterparty at Oatmeal Headquarters, La Burrita (where we can buy pitchers and eat burritos).

We’d love to see you there. Bring friends, bring enemies, and bring an appetite for glutinous stories.

OATMEAL MAGAZINE invites you to
An evening of the third issue:
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Analog Books (Northside, on Euclid)

Aftergathering to follow at
La Burrita on Northside.
(BYOB, we also take donations…)

See the facebook event for more details:

Love and fiber,
Ladies of Oatmealshire

August 11, 2011

Ahoy, Swashbucklers!

August 2, 2011

Back from Vacation

Heyello, oaty people! We’ve just spent the past couple of weeks recuperating from the first issue release, reveling with Mr. Oatmeal in his most extravagant ways — lolling in the Caribbean sun, drinking Bahama Mama Sunrises from excavated pineapples and twisty neon straws, slurping oatmeal stout from each other’s bronzed navels. A tropical slice of heaven. What a life our noble mascot leads. Who could have seen such zeal for karaoke behind those lacy cuffs! That monocle! 80’s ballads are his specialty.

But, alas, now that we have returned several shades darker and thoroughly massaged, we must face a grittier reality: one of the enshrouding Berkeley drizzle, the looming, sopping wet cloud of the school year, the unwavering pressure to live up to our first issue. But have hope, dear friends, Oatmeal will light the way. We will nourish you, we will please you, we will wrap a blanket around your shoulders to keep you from catching cold as the leaves change color and our second issue, Oatmeal at Sea, nears. It will be the best autumn of our lives. Especially if you warm us up with a trough sloshing and steaming with the gruel of your most soul-nourishing, whole-grained writing and doodles.

Here are some future projects we have lined up:

1) The next issue’s deadline: Now that we have our first issue published already, we’re timing our next so that you actually have a chance to write for the magazine! The submission deadline will be September 18th, with more information to come.

2) The Oatmeal Tour: As the new semester starts, Claire and Trisha will be presenting our magazine and submissions deadline to English, Comp Lit, and random other creative writing classes. But help us not be pigeon-holed! If you have an interesting class with a laid-back professor, do e-mail us with the time & place so we can show up there too.

3) Bathroom publicity: The best kind of publicity. It’s a surprise, but we will say that you might find the idea of camping out in campus bathrooms pretty tantalizing once they’re spruced up with some fine cultural entertainment. . .

4) Podcast!!!: A really wacky idea that may actually work. Since we can’t really offer you an issue every month (we learned that quickly), we endeavor to fill the awkward silence between issues by making podcasts, about breakfasty things, of course. Our first podcast is going to be released on September 2nd.

5) Release party and FUN-raiser: Let’s face it. Mr. Oatmeal’s pretty broke. But Mr. Oatmeal also likes to party. So we’re going to host an Oatmeal party and bakesale in early October. Somewhere that’s really hot and happenin’. Come and join the fun!

June 17, 2011

Our first flash (non) fiction prompt: ORIGIN STORIES

Greetings, fellow lovers of warm cereal, fun, and all things oaty and wholesome!

We’ve been celebrating Bloomsday here at Oatmeal Headquarters, or mostly just drinking Guinness and brainstorming for the future of the magazine, our plans for a brighter tomorrow, our dreams and aspirations of going platinum in the realm of college zines. We’d like you all to test out our first flash fiction/non-fiction prompt while we, too, get started mashing together this nutritious, delicious, gourmet slop of a journal!

To cultivate and entwine our (contributors and editors) two seemingly different paths–or plots of the most fecund soil erupting with oats!–at the same time in the same place, you folks should cook up some origin stories.

They can be quick jottings, like those mornings when you wake up late and need breakfast and you pour instant oatmeal and hot water into a plastic bag. It happens. And can be pretty delightful! We dig all flavors and phases of oatmeal. And if you want to let it simmer for a little while, that too would be very warmly received.

Here’s where ya submit! We’ve included a list of suggestions that is far from comprehensive.

Full of chocolaty stout,
Ladies of Oatmealshire

May 19, 2011


Finally, a literary magazine for the faint of heart! Rather than those uppity literature students with fake British accents and penny loafers.

We at Oatmeal Magazine are looking for your crudest doodles of coffee shop strangers, your most heart-wrenching ballads about spilt cereal, your story ideas, jokes, and whims that you drag beyond the proverbial line, frolic with, harass, and beat into their graves. We want your grit, your fervor, your wit, your flaws. Serve us your words on a platter of steaming flapjacks moist with the butter and syrup of your seething genius brains, and we will throw them back with a mug of scalding black coffee, fueled by our raw desire and keen editorial eyes.

Editors and contributors will form the heartiest connections as we constantly satiate one another’s salivating palates: Send in your work to assuage our appetites, and we’ll publish a magazine to satisfy yours!